Day 5
My Proudest Moment!
This is actually a really easy one for me.... 12/27/07... the day we bought our house! Ever since I was little I dreamed of owning my own house. Once I was out of school and working all the time we saved up and got our apartment. Lucky for us our rent was cheap enough that we were able to stay there for a few years to save up for a house.... and at age 24 I got my wish! I remember signing the papers and getting handed the keys and all I could think was yes we finally did it! At that moment I realized it was totally worth working 2 jobs and pretty much not having a life for a few years just to get our house. I still love it to this day....a little smaller than I would have liked but other than that I really don't have any complaints :)
Sunday, January 31, 2016
Saturday, January 30, 2016
30 Day Challenge - Day 4 - 1/30/16
Day 4
My dream job! I have two.
1. Writer (the extremely obvious one)
I remember I started writing short stories about the age of 9 or 10. Then I moved on from short stories, and wrote my first "book" at age 13. From there I spent years writing poetry. Then I started writing another book at 22 and finished at 23, and would love to publish it one day. My best friend read it and said it was so good she couldn't even put it down and that I needed to write a sequel cause I couldn't leave her hanging! My dream has always been to publish a book. I still hope one day I will walk by a bookstore and see my book in the window. Now my writing consists of blogging... My entire life I've always done some form of writing. Writing has always been my outlet for expression, especially when I just can't get the words out. It has helped me in so many ways, and I'm lucky it has always come easily for me.
2. Therapist (the obvious but no so obvious one)
I was in my late teens when I started to think about it, and as I got older I realized I probably would have made a great one! If I didn't hate school so much I definitely would have followed through with it. I feel like as I gained more life experience the desire to do it became greater. I like to be there for people because i know how it feels to have no one. I'm trustworthy, a good listener, loyal, and one of the most non judgemental people you'll ever meet. So many times I wish I had someone like me... To understand me! There's something so rewarding about being able to help someone in a way no one else can!
My dream job! I have two.
1. Writer (the extremely obvious one)
I remember I started writing short stories about the age of 9 or 10. Then I moved on from short stories, and wrote my first "book" at age 13. From there I spent years writing poetry. Then I started writing another book at 22 and finished at 23, and would love to publish it one day. My best friend read it and said it was so good she couldn't even put it down and that I needed to write a sequel cause I couldn't leave her hanging! My dream has always been to publish a book. I still hope one day I will walk by a bookstore and see my book in the window. Now my writing consists of blogging... My entire life I've always done some form of writing. Writing has always been my outlet for expression, especially when I just can't get the words out. It has helped me in so many ways, and I'm lucky it has always come easily for me.
2. Therapist (the obvious but no so obvious one)
I was in my late teens when I started to think about it, and as I got older I realized I probably would have made a great one! If I didn't hate school so much I definitely would have followed through with it. I feel like as I gained more life experience the desire to do it became greater. I like to be there for people because i know how it feels to have no one. I'm trustworthy, a good listener, loyal, and one of the most non judgemental people you'll ever meet. So many times I wish I had someone like me... To understand me! There's something so rewarding about being able to help someone in a way no one else can!
Friday, January 29, 2016
30 Day Challenge - Day 3 - 1/29/16
Day 3
My favorite quote!
I have two that are tied for 1st place.
1. Choice, chance, change. You have to make a choice to take a chance or your life will never change."
This is my trademark... every quote scrapbook I've made has this one in it. So true! As much as I'd consider myself not a risk taker, there are occasions in which I have and almost every time it benefitted me in a good way. The first time I saw this I instantly loved it. Change is a part of life, whether I like it or not.
2. "Be Yourself. An original is worth more than a copy."
This was the title of the blog that changed my life in so many ways. I wrote it and took a risk and sent it out to a bunch of people and the support I received was amazing. At a time where I felt so alone, I suddenly wasn't anymore. So glad I decided to do it... It literally changed my life. The best thing to come out of it was reconnecting with the greatest girl in my life and we will never let each other go again. It's all because I sent her that blog and hoped I'd get positive feedback and I obviously got so much more... the support I got from her was overwhelming. If I hadn't sent that, I don't think we would be in each others lives right now... And that makes me sad. One spontaneous decision brough us back together.. So I feel like that is proof everything happens for a reason! Ive always been pretty closed off about what Ive been throught because I feared being judged... But I just didnt want to live in secret anymore. That's where the quote came in... I needed to be me... I needed to let the fear go and realize no one's perfect... We've all made mistakes and we all have a story! I realized afterwards that I was still the same person... I just became brave enough to let the real me show!
-DiscoveringMe914-
My favorite quote!
I have two that are tied for 1st place.
1. Choice, chance, change. You have to make a choice to take a chance or your life will never change."
This is my trademark... every quote scrapbook I've made has this one in it. So true! As much as I'd consider myself not a risk taker, there are occasions in which I have and almost every time it benefitted me in a good way. The first time I saw this I instantly loved it. Change is a part of life, whether I like it or not.
2. "Be Yourself. An original is worth more than a copy."
This was the title of the blog that changed my life in so many ways. I wrote it and took a risk and sent it out to a bunch of people and the support I received was amazing. At a time where I felt so alone, I suddenly wasn't anymore. So glad I decided to do it... It literally changed my life. The best thing to come out of it was reconnecting with the greatest girl in my life and we will never let each other go again. It's all because I sent her that blog and hoped I'd get positive feedback and I obviously got so much more... the support I got from her was overwhelming. If I hadn't sent that, I don't think we would be in each others lives right now... And that makes me sad. One spontaneous decision brough us back together.. So I feel like that is proof everything happens for a reason! Ive always been pretty closed off about what Ive been throught because I feared being judged... But I just didnt want to live in secret anymore. That's where the quote came in... I needed to be me... I needed to let the fear go and realize no one's perfect... We've all made mistakes and we all have a story! I realized afterwards that I was still the same person... I just became brave enough to let the real me show!
-DiscoveringMe914-
Thursday, January 28, 2016
30 Day Challenge - Day 2- 1/28/16
Day 2
20 facts about me!
1. My favorite color is purple
2. I love reality TV
3. I regret finding out the gender of my child ahead of time... my gut feeling was right anyway but I think the anticipation of not knowing would have been amazing
4. I got my first tattoo this year
5. The biggest comfort for me is someone playing with my hair
6. Cape Cod is my favorite getaway destination
7. I'm probably one of the pickiest eaters on the planet
8. I'm terrified of heights
9. My best friend is also my unbiological mom and big sister
10. I had a miscarriage in 2014 and to this day I still struggle with the fact that my son will be an only child.
11. I got married on the beach in the Bahamas
12. I wasn't shown alot of affection growing up...as an adult I often need to be reassured that I'm loved
13. Im the type of girl who will always be there to listen and comfort people, because I know what it's like to not have that safety net
14. Growing up I wanted to be a news reporter
15. I didn't go to college
16. I'm very guarded and don't open up to many people
17. The one celebrity I've always wanted to meet is Portia de Rossi
18. I've loved reading since I was a child
19. My son is named after two people, his first, a professional skateboarder and his middle, the person who changed my life the most
20. Scrapbooking is one of my biggest passions
- DiscoveringMe914-
20 facts about me!
1. My favorite color is purple
2. I love reality TV
3. I regret finding out the gender of my child ahead of time... my gut feeling was right anyway but I think the anticipation of not knowing would have been amazing
4. I got my first tattoo this year
5. The biggest comfort for me is someone playing with my hair
6. Cape Cod is my favorite getaway destination
7. I'm probably one of the pickiest eaters on the planet
8. I'm terrified of heights
9. My best friend is also my unbiological mom and big sister
10. I had a miscarriage in 2014 and to this day I still struggle with the fact that my son will be an only child.
11. I got married on the beach in the Bahamas
12. I wasn't shown alot of affection growing up...as an adult I often need to be reassured that I'm loved
13. Im the type of girl who will always be there to listen and comfort people, because I know what it's like to not have that safety net
14. Growing up I wanted to be a news reporter
15. I didn't go to college
16. I'm very guarded and don't open up to many people
17. The one celebrity I've always wanted to meet is Portia de Rossi
18. I've loved reading since I was a child
19. My son is named after two people, his first, a professional skateboarder and his middle, the person who changed my life the most
20. Scrapbooking is one of my biggest passions
- DiscoveringMe914-
Wednesday, January 27, 2016
30 Day Challenge - Day 1- 1/27/16
I came across a 30 day blog challenge and figured why not try it?
Day 1 : Your blog's name
How did I come up with Climbing the Mountain to Happiness? It's definitely fitting! When I started, I was at a very low point and felt I could only go up from there. Someone had mentioned my journey was similar to climbing a mountain, so the name came to me instantly. I started at the very bottom, looking at this giant mountain, thinking there is no way I will ever get to the top. It was overwhelming. So I took a step back and realized I had to start with baby steps, because any step in the right direction is progress, no matter how small the step. Don't get me wrong, I have a long way to go, but I have made so much progress. It's not so overwhelming now.... I try not to focus on the main goal, but rather, the next small step. I can't see the top, but I also can't see the bottom... and that itself is proof of progress.
Day 1 : Your blog's name
How did I come up with Climbing the Mountain to Happiness? It's definitely fitting! When I started, I was at a very low point and felt I could only go up from there. Someone had mentioned my journey was similar to climbing a mountain, so the name came to me instantly. I started at the very bottom, looking at this giant mountain, thinking there is no way I will ever get to the top. It was overwhelming. So I took a step back and realized I had to start with baby steps, because any step in the right direction is progress, no matter how small the step. Don't get me wrong, I have a long way to go, but I have made so much progress. It's not so overwhelming now.... I try not to focus on the main goal, but rather, the next small step. I can't see the top, but I also can't see the bottom... and that itself is proof of progress.
Thursday, December 31, 2015
The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written.
2015 has come to an end. I definitely think this was the most life changing year for me.... so many things happened this year! The downside... losing my Nonnie, my last grandparent, unexpectedly. Life has forever changed since that moment.. a moment I was not prepared for. Moving forward hasn't been easy, but here I am, doing it.
Most people know I hate summer.... or as I should say now... USED to hate summer. This was the best summer of my life. I did so many fun things and I feel like this is one of the first years I've actually enjoyed life. This year I went on my first road trip, got my first tattoo (finally!), and took several other memorable trips, all with my best friend by my side! I've learned to live in the moment. I have spent so much of life dwelling on the past and thinking about the future that the present was flying right by me and I was too busy to see it.... and I'm trying very hard to not do that anymore. Sure, I'm thinking about what I can do next week, but that's pretty much the extent of it... minus the week in July at the Cape I'm so looking forward to! I'm forever thankful to have such an amazing unbiological mom/big sister/ best friend who has opened my eyes to another way of life... and without her, I couldn't be me. She has taught me how to live... instead of just existing in a world of "what if's". I've learned to not live with regrets.... every single decision I've ever made has shaped me into the person I am. Are there things I wish I could change or have done differently? I'm sure there's a few... but no regrets. The past cannot be changed, edited, or erased. I've learned from every decision I've made... therefore, I do not think anything has been a mistake. And I've learned more things than ever this year!
Sometimes you have to let people go... not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever. People really do come and go.... but the right ones always stay. And some people are only meant to leave your life temporarily. Letting go is a process... and not an easy one. I've had to do it this year and I'm happy with my decision... I will always be grateful for the good times and look back on them and smile. Sometimes people enter your life at just the right time... and exit the same way. The people that are meant to be in your life will always gravitate back to you, no matter how far they wander.
This year was about gaining life experience. You can always make more money, but you can't always make more memories. I think our first trip to the Cape opened my eyes to that. There's something about sitting on the beach with the sun shining and listening to the waves... and just savoring the moment. It's ok to take time off. It's ok to go away without your child and not feel guilty in the least. You only live ONCE. Could I have not gone away at all and worked instead and started trying to pay off debt? Of course. But no amount of money could take the place of what this year meant to me. I will have those memories forever.
Most people know I don't make resolutions... mainly because I never keep them! I do however, have goals for 2016.
1. Make a thorough effort to start paying off debt
2. Travel more (and somehow try to stick to #1 at the same time!)
3. Take my meds every day
4. Start couponing again (I used to be great at it.... and saved so much money!)
I'm sure if I thought long and hard I could come up with more, but those are my main ones. No guarantees, but I will give it my best effort!
Goodbye to 2015, and all the memories that were made.
2016, I hope you're ready for even more.
~DiscoveringMe914~
Thursday, October 1, 2015
Running away from your problems is a race you'll never win.
It's been so long since I've written.... I just haven't had it in me. However, it's known that writing is the easiest way for me to express myself when I struggle to get the words out.
I have been struggling lately. Losing my grandmother, my last grandparent, 3 weeks ago has taken a toll on me. I question where the future of my family lies because she was the glue that held us all together, and I worry that we will end up drifting apart. Although I'm grateful to have maintained a good relationship with two of my cousins and hope that continues.
Parenting an unruly almost 4 year old boy is also a major challenge. I can only hope I can get my out of control child to get the help he needs to function better.... even if it means being the only parent to deal with it.
I have made mistakes and been open about them. I'm not perfect. However, now I find myself in a deep hole. I've been confronted by a few people about it.... which has resulted in me getting angry, denying it, and having limited contact with those people. Truth is now that I've been forced to open my eyes to it, it's clear as day right in front of me. I told myself if I ignored it that it would fix myself. I don't want to see it. I cannot believe I've fucked up to the extent that I have. I'm ashamed of myself at this point. I tell myself I have to be a big girl and that I can fix this on my own without help from anyone. I tell myself it is fixable.... if I do something about it now. If I don't... it will reach a point where I won't be able to get out of it.
No one knows. I don't want to talk about it. To anyone. I don't keep anything from my therapist... I'm an open book... except this. My best friend who is also an unbiological mom and big sister to me... who is the best mom ever and would do anything in the world for me doesn't know.... and we tell each other everything. So this is hard. I feel like I've tried to tell her and change my mind every time. I know I won't be judged for it... I've never been judged for my mistakes. But I feel like I know the reaction I will get. I honestly don't think there is anything they can do to help me... which is why I have kept it to myself. I want to attempt to fix this on my own... even though there is that voice in the back of my head that says I can't and that I am in way over my head and that I need help. But I want to try. I have created this problem all on my own and have no one to blame but myself.... so I feel I should fix it by myself.
☆DiscoveringMe914☆
I have been struggling lately. Losing my grandmother, my last grandparent, 3 weeks ago has taken a toll on me. I question where the future of my family lies because she was the glue that held us all together, and I worry that we will end up drifting apart. Although I'm grateful to have maintained a good relationship with two of my cousins and hope that continues.
Parenting an unruly almost 4 year old boy is also a major challenge. I can only hope I can get my out of control child to get the help he needs to function better.... even if it means being the only parent to deal with it.
I have made mistakes and been open about them. I'm not perfect. However, now I find myself in a deep hole. I've been confronted by a few people about it.... which has resulted in me getting angry, denying it, and having limited contact with those people. Truth is now that I've been forced to open my eyes to it, it's clear as day right in front of me. I told myself if I ignored it that it would fix myself. I don't want to see it. I cannot believe I've fucked up to the extent that I have. I'm ashamed of myself at this point. I tell myself I have to be a big girl and that I can fix this on my own without help from anyone. I tell myself it is fixable.... if I do something about it now. If I don't... it will reach a point where I won't be able to get out of it.
No one knows. I don't want to talk about it. To anyone. I don't keep anything from my therapist... I'm an open book... except this. My best friend who is also an unbiological mom and big sister to me... who is the best mom ever and would do anything in the world for me doesn't know.... and we tell each other everything. So this is hard. I feel like I've tried to tell her and change my mind every time. I know I won't be judged for it... I've never been judged for my mistakes. But I feel like I know the reaction I will get. I honestly don't think there is anything they can do to help me... which is why I have kept it to myself. I want to attempt to fix this on my own... even though there is that voice in the back of my head that says I can't and that I am in way over my head and that I need help. But I want to try. I have created this problem all on my own and have no one to blame but myself.... so I feel I should fix it by myself.
☆DiscoveringMe914☆
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